Ironically enough, while I was surfing for the best way to offer support to the victims of the disaster in Haiti, I came across an interesting article addressing this question. It referenced a 2006 study published in Science magazine. The research concluded that there is an inverse relationship between having "money on the mind" and compassion. Significantly, people who were "primed" to think about money were measured in various areas of social interaction, such as helpfulness, caring and collaboration. The result? Not so good. They were more aloof, indifferent to the needs of others and more isolated from social interaction in general.
So ummm, okay, says me to myself: time to look in the mirror here. Has a focus on frugal living made me less forthcoming or spontaneously generous? Has thinking about savings goals and controlling expenses crowded out energy I direct outwardly toward others? You know, I actually think that might be true in my case. I'll have to do some soul searching on this one!
What do you think? Has your focus on saving changed the quantity and/or quality of your interactions with others? How do you maintain a balance?
January 20th, 2010 at 04:44 am 1263962691
January 20th, 2010 at 01:58 pm 1263995886
You can be a generous heart, but without money, all the best intentions still won't do them any good.
Conversely, it is indeed a shame think only about money (thinking only about the means, but to no end).
I certainly do think it's best to be money-minded, but to never lose focus on why. And hopefully, we are driven for a good reason, such as helping out people in times of need (but also having the means to do so).
January 20th, 2010 at 03:08 pm 1264000126
January 20th, 2010 at 05:37 pm 1264009076
I budget for my church and for the United Way. I am less likely to give money to people who are stupid with their funding and expect others to help them out all the time, but I'm also better at providing. When my old roomie lived with me, she never paid me a penny in rent and I brought some of her food and some meds too. Being frugal at a time when I was feeling pretty poor meant I was still able to have the joy of being helpful to her.
Because I knew where I stood financially, I knew what I could afford.
My roomie needed to pay an unexpected bill and asked if she could borrow $100, and I had it in hand for her immediately without worry about my bills.
I'm doubling my church pledge this year because I belong to a small church and they need the help. I'm able to make the decision because I know what I'm doing and what my financial goals are.
I think frugality is helping me to be a better Christian.
Frugality is a tool, like a gun. You can use a gun to defend your family and your country, or you can kill and rob people. You can use frugality to horde for yourself, or you can use frugality to provide better for those in need.
January 21st, 2010 at 03:42 am 1264045345
SA, I appreciate the way you offer of your time and energy to the community. I can see that's a sure way to maintain strong connections and neighborly sharing.
Ceejay, just the fact that you are sharing your life with two other adults, and now a baby on the way, tells me that frugality hasn't impeded your caring. It is clear that your saving and getting out of debt is to serve the higher purpose of helping your family have a strong financial foundation. And yet, you are still sharing of your resources with others, like the Haitian people.
BA and Miz Pat, you really nailed the core issue here. You've said it so clearly. Money is the means, not the end. When money becomes the end goal, when hoarding becomes the sole purpose in and of itself, when it's all about obsessing about how much we can accumulate, that's when our hearts can become constricted.
Thanks again for your thoughtful responses.
February 12th, 2010 at 05:40 pm 1265996444
Jerry